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August 02, 2005
From The Kolonel With Love....Now In Colour?!
Almost as fast as our season was back on track due to a belter of a win against Port Adelaide, it is now teetering on a knifes edge after two 'schiessenhausen' performances, as Schnappi the Crocodile would say. And well he might call them that, the last two weeks have been unforgivable. If Geelong were not arrogant on Friday yet again, I will eat my newly made KKK Shirt.
For those of you who do not remember...
Originally Posted by The Kolonel
If we lose this week against the Bombers I'll eat my Kent Kinglsey Krew t-shirt.
Eating that shirt was almost as painful and tormenting as watching Geelong’s season slowly slip away at the hands of two second rate teams in as many weeks. I want to cry. It is undeniably frustrating laying your head on your pillow with dreams of premiership glory. Dreams of Kent on the dais waving to the crowd. Only for them to be taken away curely year after year. Oh the overwhelming joy that would engulf my life if they were to win the premiership. I’m sure it would be the same for everyone reading this also. Unless you're gay.
Dare I say it a premiership would be the happiest day of my life, ever. Forget kids. Forget the Oasis concert. Even forget the day Hungry Jacks introduced 95 cent cheeseburgers, a Geelong flag would top it all. It is an interesting concept that. The happiest day of my life can be either given to me or taken away by 22 individuals whom I know little about and have met very few of. Yet when they don the hoops we take them in as our own and bask in their glory and sob with them during the lows. You do not care if they are losers, or if they have milk spilt on them in the Schoolyard in Year 12 and cry (or in this case, both).
You sit through the long and arduous seasons at the bottom of the ladder with promises of success in the future. But of course the promises are false. There are 15 other teams planning the same success and there can only be one winner. What else would a club say anyway? 'We don’t want to win the flag this season' Of course not, that’s as silly as playing Kent on the wing. Only the team with the most commitment, skill, hunger and passion will win. The Cats don’t have this. Well, they don’t have it at the moment. They have it when they want. Much to the infuriation of all concerned.
Was this week Arrogance? We played badly last week, therefore we have learnt our lesson and will thus come out firing and beat Essendon. Wrong answer Geelong. Inevitably they hung around on Kent’s coat tails for a little while, but it was never going to be enough. We have two ruckman earning close enough to $1 million between them, why does Mooney ruck? That’s not arrogance, that is sad. An indictment if you will.
Is our season over? What do you determine over being? We sure as hell won’t win an interstate Preliminary Final. Thus won’t win the Grand Final. I won’t give up hope or the passion, for this isn't something that merely fades away in the last quarter when your season is on the line. Hope and Passion have you sitting on the edge of your seat screaming 'KINGSLEYYYY' all night and pissing off all the Essendon Supporters around you. Or was that the alcohol? Passion has you going back for more. And more. No matter the result. Hope makes you believe the false promises offered, has you wide eyed at night thinking of the Moment. The Moment that takes no longer than two hours, but can never be taken away from you ever. The Premiership.
I fear my moment will never come. This is sad. Never being able to acquaint yourself with your happy moment. Will I take up residence next to the Big One unfulfilled? I sincerely hope not.
Geelong, FUCKING WELL LIFT!
My Mum always told me there was a bit of intelligence in me. I thought it was because I swallowed a rubix cube. Perhaps it was that? Anyway time for some random shit. Here is the Kolonel’s top 10 about nothing that makes no sense but I thought of 10 things to write list to make me look less intelligent...
1 - Chris Dwyer. Christopher be a man and face up. You can have a Cigarette lighter and alcoholic beverage to fight with also. As long as one of us goes home with charred feet I don’t care. Just be warned it won’t be me.
2 - Thompson? Has he done all he can? Easy scapegoat. Said he’d never be around for a huge amount of time and he has now developed a powerful team that perhaps needs a new edge to get it over the line. He’d still take a shitload amount of credit for how far we have come, and must be treated with respect whatever happens.
3 - Melbourne Water. Friggin’ Fluoride. Can I not make the choice what chemicals I drink? Water was the last resort of an untarnished substance for me, now it has gone. We do not live in Gotham.
4 - My B'day.19 next week, wooooooooop woooooooop-a-wooooooooooop. That’s right ladies the Kolonel is of legal age. Oh that’s right, I’m taken. Sorry. I must break your hearts as much as I make 'em flutter. All I want is an inflatable pool so I sit in it in summer and consume Beer. I should change that to cordial otherwise my Mum won’t buy me a pool. If she doesn’t I shall change my last name to .....
5 - Gallagher. Does a day go by where Noel or Liam Gallagher are not in the MX? Chruch, Live Aid, making Robbie Williams look silly, they do it all. I salute you.
6 – Hotdogs. Armor Hotdogs, what kind of kids eat armor hotdogs? Fat kids, skinny kids, kids that climb on rocks. Tough kids, sissy kids, even kids with chicken pox.
7 - Christopher D. I’m waiting big man. The Kolonel wants to unleash a little hurt on you.
8 - The Chant Guy. May he die single so as I will be the only one that resembles him. We are like Jedi. A special Cheering Jedi. Our voice is our light saber, and our witty remarks our force.
9 - Family… My sister didn’t ask me to be Batman for her kids party. It’s not like I have a restraining order or anything. I like kids. I’ve been Spiderman before...and sigh, well be again. Could’ve at least asked, some people are just rude.
10 - The Weiner formerly known as Dwyer - Get ready for a lot of hurt, Kolonel style. You're my bitch.
When you put your faith in something, you can get hurt. Put your life into it and you become miserable. It’s a harsh reality.
The Kolonel.
PS. Due to interest received recently about the official KKK t-shirt here are images of:
FRONT
BACK
Posted by Sammy D at August 2, 2005 10:36 PM
Comments
It's ok, we won't have to worry about Mooney's ruck ability this Friday night. No, we'll have Mark Blake's ruck ability to worry about instead...
"Unlike his first AFL experience, which ended with a 54-point loss to the Swans, the 199cm giant is confident his second outing will have a much better outcome.
"Blake reckons he used up all his nervous energy in his debut game and is now looking forward to helping his teammates get back on track for September."
Well that makes me feel a lot better.
I wonder whether Dennis *Blake*, the GFC letter-writer had anything to do with this. I call Conspiracy...
Posted by: ash at August 3, 2005 08:43 AM
That's the greatest t-shirt ever. Bar none.
Posted by: Adam 1.0 at August 4, 2005 12:48 AM